on the emotions a song can create

i rediscovered a song that i enjoyed with many emotions a few years ago, but then forgot about.  keith was playing his ipod during our drive home from charlotte last sunday  night and we came across "the song" that i hadn't heard in so long.  it brought back the same flood of emotions. everytime i hear "dance with my father" by luther vandross,(  dance with my father)  it's the same as the first time i listened to the words... i cry.  hard.  like, bawl.

the first thought is how keith used to dance in our kitchen with the kids every night after dinner, around our kitchen island, he would  take turns holding and dancing with justin & kendall when they were very little.  the song says "i knew for sure i was loved" and that is exactly the kind of father he has been to our kids.  it over joys me that they had that assurance from such a young age.

it then leads to how i didn't have that kind of experience due to my parents being divorced so young in my life.  and by no fault of either parent, i wasn't able to feel that particular security of both parents being there together in the same home.  i mourn for that father i had, but didn't know very well due to circumstances beyond my control, but think how great it could have been to have known my dad so well from such a young age and to have that kind of security that my kids have been blessed with.

the next emotion is imagining how it might be for my mother in law to live without my father in law, as these two are the longest lasting loving relationship i have experienced in my lifetime,- of true admiration and love.  an example that i hope to be to my own children and grandchildren. it is almost unimaginable to try to picture one without the other... yet another thought the song provokes.

i also think of how my gram must feel multiple times a day now that my gramps has passed away.  and how she must long for him in so many ways through the day....and just wish for that one last time to hold him and dance with him.

the song is so emotional for me, but so pretty.  i love hearing it, but hate how my face is completely snotty and wet after hearing it.  what a range of different emotions in a short period of time, as if a walk through life in four minutes.  no guilt or sadness meant for anyone- i just had to share as this has been on my mind since  sunday...bringing back the same exact emotions it has done for years.

to me, this is what blogging is about.  sharing those feelings that may not otherwise get recorded, but you'd like to remember how something has an effect on you.  :)